The Midnight Mailer is Back Again !

  THE MIDNIGHT MAILER^© 
Loosening YOUR BOWELS SINCE 1962

A long, long time ago in a SV far, far away, two intrepid, relatively young, well-endowed, handsome, intelligent , virginal and semi-bald heroes battled for Five rupee coins, below mean GPA (Kum Meana Class) and a chowkidar’s position at McBhen-dhi consulting.  Our heroes (still Virginal) sought out a wise and all knowing guru  (Cuddly  Baba) to guide them in their perilous journey towards Manhood, MBA-hood and everlasting freedom from piles. 

However the tyrannical forces of the evil warlord DMOP, his mistress MADM and their dastardly chamcha/sidekick Corfin, imprisoned our young heroes (Still Semi Bald and virginal)  in the dark fortress of AssKaBand (LRC Study room 9412/ 9405 / Random Khopcha aka Electric room).

Butt, ass whole terms passed by, our heroes did not lose their hope (or virginity) and with the help of Cuddly , (who was ever ready to expose himself to danger and paneer makhani) the heroes escaped and lived to write another mesmerizing, cauterizing and plagiarising episode of the MIDNIGHT MAILER (don’t turnitin, Rascala!) . 

In this first episode, the heroes and their wise master once again embark on a mythical quest to find the lost bull which was prophesized to restore peas to the Goel’s kitchen and restore the reign of normal digestion in the land. 

 

OK, AT THIS POINT OUR SEMI BALD HEROES HAVE TO DO THEIR PRE-READS.

IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO BE A MIDNIGHT MAILER (SEMI- BALD/ CUDDLY) COMPLETE THE MAGICAL STORY (IN THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW) TO WIN EXCITING PRIZES SUCH AS:

·         Sartaj Cuddly Toys (Autographed and life sized)

·         Manish Saluja’s patented herbal Semi-Baldness cream

·         Ananth Vas’s unmentionables (we are serious)

·         Coco’s Nuts (Flavoured, roasted and hygienically packed)

-THE GOOD , THE BALD (semi)  AND THE CUDDLY

Dunking Video made by Rec Center Guard

While it is still not clear who actually edited the video with credits and uploaded it on youtube, Cheeru is indeed stealing the show in all spheres of influence at ISB. Apart from being considered as one of the prospective guest speakers at the speaker series, Cheeru has increasingly been sighted at some of the 08 lounge parties interacting with students over drinks and dishing out management fundamentals on topics such as viral marketing and consumers behavior over internet. It is also being rumored that this whole incident has kicked off the creation of a series of innovative case studies in all management departments at ISB. Infact one of the Case studies by the name “Effects of Youtube on security guard community: Economic substitutions” is allegedly being considered for inclusion in Term 1 syllabi for class of 2013.

But such immense publicity has its downsides too, as Cheeru himself admits. “My personal life has taken a toll as I can spend very little time with family now. My supervisor is, as all bosses are, least bothered about all this. He always stations me on Khemka duties, but I tend to drift towards rec centre to re-live those moments. This celebrity status comes with huge baggage of expectations which the whole student community and the academic faculty have from me. To that cause I have even agreed to avail pro-bono services from an Impression Management Consultant from class of 2012.” Cheeru suddenly pauses and looks into oblivion. “I hope I will live upto the high hopes.” He finishes with an innocent smile and heads towards Subway where a group of Students welcome him with a round of cheers and claps.

Men Without Business Club

Dear ISBians,

Generally the midnight mailer doesn’t take sides but we felt the issue is very critical and we must take a stand.

As you know there are many social and professional clubs active in the campus. However none of them are as vital and as earth shattering as the club we are about to discuss. Our very own Sartaj Singh Chawla is contesting for the presidency of this club.

His Profile :

With over 6 years of industry experience in companies like Accenture , Sartaj has a rich and varied background. He has been exposed in various positions in many different industries and has demonstrated extreme performance in these positions. He has also been exposed internationally  and has worked across borders at Thailand, Amsterdam and Las Vegas. He has demonstrated teamwork and ability to deliver in difficult situations many a  times. He has deeply impressed many of his international clients who would like to work with him again and again. And again !

His Agenda :

To enhance and enrich the lives of each and every ISBians. ( Seriously ! )

Office Hours :

Mr Sartaj can be observed in his natural habitat at Learning Resource Centre between 9 AM in the morning till 2 AM at night. It is highly advisable not to disturb him in this environment as it may lead to bodily injury and/or dismemberment .

So we invite you to the launch of this fantastic, parthbreaking club – “The Men Without Business Club” LRC Chapter, launching soon at a SV near you . Please vote for Sartaj tomorrow or else.... Each person voting will be given one free “Sartaj Cuddly Toy” free (© MidNight Mail) .

All those who wish to contest against Sartaj, may present themselves tomorrow for the soap-box which will consist of No Holds Barred Steal Cage Wrestling Match followed by diaper changing competition !  (Please bring  your own diapers with you.) Kindly note the top 10 diaper changers were recruited last year by Mckinsey !